by Ruby K. Payne, Ph.D., 2013
Wayne has been recommending this book for years. He read her work when he was getting his Master’s at Regis.
After reading it, I understand Brandon better, and am really, really proud of how he has changed and grown after 8 months of living at Harvest Farm and having Mr. Snyder as a mentor.
There are 9 types of resources: Financial, Emotional, Mental/Cognitive, Spiritual, Physical, Support Systems, Relationships/Role Models, Knowledge of Hidden Rules, and Language/Formal Register.
“Emotional resources provide the stamina to withstand difficult and uncomfortable emotional situations and feelings. Emotional resources allow you to not engage in destructive behaviors–to others or yourself. Emotional resources may well be the most important of all resources because, when present, they allow the individual not to return to old patterns…”
Spiritual resources are the belief that help can be obtained from a higher power, that there is a purpose for living, and that worth and love are gifts from God. This is a powerful resource because the individual does not see himself/herself as hopeless and useless, but rather as capable and having worth and value. Furthermore, spiritual resources provide a person with a “future story,” which gives him/her hope for the future.”
“No significant learning occurs without a significant relationship.” Dr. James Comer.
Knowledge of hidden rules, sometimes called mores…Hidden rules exist in poverty, in middle class, and in wealth, as well as in ethnic groups and other units of people. Hidden rules are about the salient, unspoken understandings that cue the members of the group that a given individual does or does not fit. For example, three of the hidden rules in poverty are the following: The noise level is high (the TV is almost always on, and everyone may talk at once), the most important information is nonverbal, and one of the main values of an individual to the group is an ability to entertain. There are also hidden rules about food, dress, decorum, etc. Generally, in order to successfully move from one class to the next, it is important to have a spouse or mentor from the class to which you wish to move to model and teach you the hidden rules.”
“…One of the hidden rules of poverty is that extra money is shared. Middle class puts a great deal of emphasis on being self-sufficient. In poverty, the clear understanding is that one will never get ahead, so when extra money is available, it is either shared or immediately spent, often on some type of entertainment because entertainment takes away the pain…”
“In poverty, people are possessions, and people rely on each other in order to survive. After all, that is all you have — people.”
“In their study, Hart and Risley found that a child in a welfare home received two negative comments to one positive while a child in a professional household received six positives to one negative.”
“Gangs are a type of support system and often a source of revenue due to the drug trade. They provide virtually all of the resources needed for survival.”
“Fighting and physical violence also are a part of poverty. People living in poverty need to be able to defend themselves physically, or they need someone to be their protector.”
Here are the Hidden Rules Among Classes:
“One of the biggest difficulties in getting out of poverty is managing money–and the general information base around money. How can you manage something you’ve never had? Money is seen in poverty as an expression of personality and is used for entertainment and relationships. The notion of using money for security is grounded in the middle and wealthy classes.”
“Adult personality is not considered to be formed until around age 29.”
“Students need to be taught the hidden rules of middle class–not in denigration of their own but rather as another set of rules that can be used if they so choose.”
“An understanding of the culture and values of poverty will lessen the anger and frustration that educators may periodically feel when dealing with these students and parents.”
“Most of the students in poverty I have talked to don’t believe they are poor, even when they’re on welfare. Most of the wealthy adults I have talked to don’t believe they’re rich; they will usually cite someone who has more than they do.”
“Generational poverty is defined as having been in poverty for at least two generations; however, the patterns begin to surface much sooner than two generations if the family lives with others who are from generational poverty.
“Situational poverty is defined as a lack of resources due to a particular event (i.e., a death, chronic illness, divorce, etc.)…
“One of the key indicators of whether it’s generational or situational poverty is the prevailing attitude. Frequently the attitude in generational poverty is that society “owes me a living.” In situational poverty the attitude is often one of pride and a great reluctance (sometimes refusal) to accept charity.”
Patterns present in generational poverty: Background noise, importance of personality, significance of entertainment, importance of relationships, matriarchal structure, oral-language tradition, survival orientation, identity for men tied to lover/fighter role, identity for women tied to rescuer/martyr role, importance of nonverbal/kinesthetic communication, ownership of people, negative orientation, discipline – “Punishment is usually about penance and forgiveness, not change.” Belief in fate: “Destiny and fate are the major tenets of the belief system. Choice is seldom considered.” Polarized thinking: “Nuanced options on the continuum are hardly ever examined. Just about everything is polarized; it is one way or the other. The concept of “gray areas” seldom enters the picture. These kinds of statements are common: “I quit,” “I can’t do it,” and “He’s just plain no good.”
There are growing numbers of children from poverty in our schools, and decreasing numbers of children from the middle class. “Education is the key to getting out of, and staying out of, generational poverty. And as stated in the Introduction, individuals leave poverty for one of four reasons:
- A situation that is so painful that just about anything would be better
- A goal or vision of something they want to be or have
- A specific talent or ability that provides an opportunity for them
- Someone who “sponsors” them (i.e., an educator or spouse or mentor or role model who shows them a different way or convinces them that they could live differently)”
“Schools are virtually the only places where students can learn the choices and rules of the middle class.”
“The culture of poverty has some universal characteristics which transcend regional, rural-urban, and even national differences … There are remarkable similarities in family structure, interpersonal relations, time orientations, value systems, spending patterns, and the sense of community in lower-class settlements in London, Glasgow, Paris, Harlem, and Mexico City.” -Oscar Lewis, “The Culture of Poverty” in Four Horsemen
In Chapter 6, Support Systems and Parents, here are seven categories of support systems: 1. Coping Strategies, 2. Options during Problem Solving, 3. Information and Know-How, 4. Connections to Other People and Resources, 5. Temporary Relief from Emotional, Mental, Financial, and/or Time Constraints, 6. Positive Self-Talk, 7. Procedural Self-Talk.
If a family becomes homeless: “In the research, if you are homeless, religious social capital does more to move you out of being homeless than any other form of assistance. Link the homeless family with a church, synagogue, mosque, or other religious organization.” (Our churches are failing the homeless miserably – they are missing a bet on being the hands and feet of Jesus. They should be open 7 days a week for the homeless to find shelter, food, and rest.)
Chapter 7, Creating Relationships: In a book by Margaret Wheatley called Leadership and the New Science (1992), “…The Newtonian model of the world is characterized by materialism and reductionism–a focus on things rather than relationships … The quantum view of reality strikes against most of our notions of reality. Even to scientists, it is admittedly bizarre. But it is a world where relationship is the key determiner of what is observed and of how particles manifest themselves … Many scientists now work with the concept of fields–invisible forces that structure space or behavior [emphasis added].
“Wheatley goes on to say that, in the new science of quantum physics, physical reality is not just tangible, it is also intangible. Fields are invisible, yet:
“[They are the] substance of the universe … In organizations, which is the more important influence on behavior–the system or the individual? The quantum world answered that question: It depends … What is critical is the relationship created between the person and the setting. That relationship will always be different, will always evoke different potentialities. It all depends on the players and the moment [emphasis added]. …”
“When students who have been in poverty (and have successfully made it into middle class) are asked how they made the journey, the answer nine times out of 10 has to do with a relationship–a teacher, counselor, or coach who gave advice or took an interest in them as individuals.”
Relationships Bank Account: Deposits are, “Seek first to understand; Keeping promises; Kindnesses, courtesies; Clarifying expectations; Loyalty to the absent; Apologies; Open to feedback.” Withdrawals are, “Seek first to be understood; Breaking promises; Unkindnesses, discourtesies; Violating expectations; Disloyalty, duplicity; Pride, conceit, arrogance; Rejecting feedback.”
Deposits made to an individual in poverty: “Appreciation for humor and entertainment provided by the individual; Acceptance of what the individual cannot say about a person or situation; Respect for the demands and priorities of relationships; Using the adult voice; Assisting with goal setting; Identifying options related to available; Understanding the importance of personal freedom, speech, and individual personality.”
Withdrawals made from an individual in poverty: “Put-downs or sarcasm about the humor or the individual; Insistence and demands for full explanation about a person or situation; Insistence on the middle-class view of relationships; Using the parent voice; Telling the individual his/her goals; Making judgments on the value and availability of resources; Assigning pejorative character traits to the individual.”
“Students often know only one choice. They don’t have access to another way to deal with the situation.” She recommends having them complete a sheet, asking them to write down what they did; when they did that, what did they want; then list four other things they could have done instead of the choice they made (this is hard for students from poverty); and lastly, what will you do next time.
Describing three voices: The Child Voice – “Defensive, victimized, emotional, whining, losing attitude, strongly negative nonverbal.” The Parent Voice – “Authoritative, directive, judgmental, evaluative, win-lose mentality, demanding, punitive, sometimes threatening.” The Adult Voice – “Not judgmental, free of negative nonverbals, factual, often in question format, attitude of win-win.”
She talks about “Reframing” in order to show parents and children a different way. She uses the example of fighting, which is the behavior you want to change. She reframes is by saying, “It takes more strength to stay out of a fight than get into it.” She asks the parents if they fight at work? When they say no, she lets them see there is an “appropriate place to physically fight, and it isn’t school or work.” Reframe situations with phrases like: “This behavior (not fighting) will help you win more often; This will keep you from being cheated; This will help you be tougher or stronger; This will make you smarter; This will help keep the people you love safe; This will give you power, control, and respect; This will keep you safer.”
Instruction techniques include building vocabulary – “Vocabulary becomes the tool by which the mind categorizes information (like and different), sorts the information, assigns the information to a pattern or group, and then communicates shared meaning….But meaning has value only to the extent that it can be shared and communicated. This requires a collective understanding of what a word means. Vocabulary literally is the key tool for thinking.”
In Appendix B, she discusses the causes of poverty. There are four main causes: Behaviors of the individual, Absence of human and social capital, Exploitation, and Political/economic structures.
Behaviors of the individual include “intergenerational character traits, dependency, single parenthood, work ethic, breakup of families, violence, addiction and mental illness, and language experiences.” Strategies for helping include, “”work first,” literacy education, treatment interventions, a cluster of abstinence issues, and programs that promote marriage.”
Causes related to the absence of human and social capital include employment and education, declining neighborhoods and middle-class flight.
Exploitation refers to low wages paid to people who cannot protest, large corporations hiring people for only 30 hours a week (to avoid paying health insurance and other benefits), the drug trade, the high interest car lots, and rent to own stores, and payday loans.
Social, economic, and political structures require systemic changes so that those who are poor can influence the political and economic structures that affect them, like providing good teachers and sound school buildings in poor areas, and holding corporations accountable for their actions.
Race and gender play a huge role in poverty:
“America’s economic, social, and political policy and structures built and supported a white middle class. Slavery exponentially magnified racial disparities in income and wealth. Generations of African Americans were subjected to captivity, hard labor, and human rights controlled by slaveholders. The economic advantages slavery afforded to the slave owners is calculated in The Color of Wealth. During the mid to late 1800s U.S. government policy supported agriculture by giving lands taken from Mexico and Native Americans to white settlers (e.g., Manifest Destiny, the Gold Rush, and the Homestead Act). Land ownership was largely restricted to whites. U.S. policies continued to develop during the Industrial Revolution, which spawned the working class. Child labor was outlawed, tariffs made U.S.goods more desirable (hence more Americans could be employed), Ford mechanized production (and improved working conditions to a degree), unions developed to help protect workers, and some employers began to provide healthcare and pensions in order to compete for workers in a tight labor market. But segregation and discrimination limited employment opportunities. The white-collar middle class emerged and was supported by the GI Bill, mortgages, Social Security, and Medicare. Between 1930 and 1960, just 1% of all U.S. mortgages were issued to African Americans, and segregation in colleges meant there were not enough openings for black GIs to go to school on the GI Bill.”
“Poverty traps people in the tyranny of the moment, making it … difficult to attend to abstract information or plan for the future–the very things needed to build [toward the attainment of a college degree]. – Philip DeVol