This is the “Fort Collins Reads” book for 2026, and our first Old Town Library book Club book on August 31st. It points out the hypocrisy of our nation in the face of the ongoing genocide in Gaza against the Palestinians. How many children are brutally murdered, how many innocent people are murdered daily – and the world excuses it, looks away, ignores it. He points out the hypocrisy of the liberal left. I hadn’t gotten that until I read this. There is so much anger at the Biden administration for siding with Israel, bankrolling the genocide, and its hypocrisy. They don’t care that Trump is so much worse. I still do not get that, but there it is.
He lives in Portland, Oregon. He has a precious daughter. The worst day of his life is when she had a respiratory illness and she couldn’t breathe. They took her to the hospital and sat by her bedside for 2 days until she was well. The worst day of his life. When so many Palestinian children have been brutally murdered, or seen their parents, grandparents, brutally murdered. Hospitals destroyed, food aid trucks prevented from entering, slow starvation of the people. And the world looks away. How long, O God, will the wicked prosper? Come, Lord Jesus, Come!
Hilarious book! I laughed out loud on almost every page! I got this from a Little Free Library, either the one on Locust Street or the one on Smith Street. I’d heard about him from bestseller’s lists for years, so glad I got to finally read him. He is so funny! He’s 2 years older than Wayne and I, so that makes him familiar. But, he grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina, and that’s worlds away from our childhoods.
It’s chapter after chapter of parts of his life that he makes so funny. He’s gay, and his partner is Hugh. Hugh has long legs and David cannot keep up with him. He describes being lost in Australia and full of rage at Hugh, thinking all sorts of terrible things, ending it, leaving him, etc. When he finally finds Hugh and Hugh asks him where he’s been, all of the anger and rage disappear and he just says, I was lost.
Some of the stories are kind of gross – like the white trash baby-sitter they had once when he was a child. She and her ilk make one dislike the south even more. But she takes them to her trailer and it’s full of baby dolls arranged just so, very neat and tidy. And when their Mom and Dad get home and they are trying to tell their Mom how terrible she was, Mom goes in and starts talking with her like they are old friends.
One of my favorite stories is the one about April, the spider. He and Hugh are living in Normandy in an old house, and there are spiders everywhere. Once he caught a fly and a big spider nabbed it. He decided to start feeding the spider and went around catching flies. He named her April. When they went to Paris for a vacation, he took April along and tried to find flies for her in Paris, but there weren’t any. When they returned to Normandy, he brought her back and released her into her old home but she took off and he never saw her again.
Created by Kobe Bryant, Written by Annie Matthew, 2019
Children’s book about a magical world where Legacy, a 12 year-old girl, saves her father’s orphanage by traveling to the city for the tennis championships. She runs away from the orphanage to compete in the tennis match because her father was going to make Van, her best friend, go to work in the mines. She knows if she wins, she will make enough money to save the orphanage. In the city, everyone but her is dressed in finery, with their hair in braids, and paint on their face. She is dressed in burlap. Her racket is an old wooden racket. She is all alone but manages to befriend Pippa, a tiny, jabber-mouthed, heart of gold young stringer; Javi, a teenage “builder;” and Gus, a Pyrus, like a winged horse. Between the 4 of them, they win the nationals and save the kingdom from the evil Queen Silla, who was ruling entirely through fear, with no love.
Kobe died, along with his 13 year-old daughter Gianna and 7 others (all aboard died; passengers and the pilot) on a helicopter flight enroute to a youth basketball game at his Mamba Sports Academy. The pilot was spatially disoriented due to heavy fog and clouds and flew into a hillside in Calabasas, California, (northwest of Los Angeles) on January 26, 2020.
Kobe won an academy award for Best Animated Short Film for his 5 minute film, Dear Basketball, his moving tribute to basketball, in 2018.
There is a 2nd book in the series, Legacy and the Double, published in 2021, written by Annie Matthew.
The second memoir by Patti Smith that I have read. It was recommended by either the NYT or the monthly email I get from the library. This one was more focused on her relationship with Fred Sonic Smith, the man she married and with whom she had 2 children, Jackson and Jesse.
She opens it with words about her “rebel hump, rebel hump, rebel hump.” She is a writer. Her being an artist is all about writing words, not being a musician, really. She lost her husband after only 14 years of marriage. It sounds like he died of cancer, but she doesn’t state exactly. She only says he did things in his youth; drugs, etc., that took their toll. They lived in an old derelict mansion near a lake in Michigan. It seemed like a rather lonely life. Just the two of them for awhile, and then Jackson, when Fred says he wants a son. And then, when Fred wants a daughter, they have Jesse Paris. Patti didn’t seem to want children, but she had them for Fred. She had to become domestic for the first time in her life and I’m not sure she liked it. She seems to just want to sit and gaze and think deep thoughts and then write them down. I have read about Patti Smith twice now, her childhood and her adulthood. She is so unlike me. She is an A R T I S T. In order to know her better, though, I need to listen to these:
First Album – Horses
Van Morrison’s song, Gloria, with her “Oath” poem
Watch the movie, The Gospel According to St. Matthew, by Pasolini
Album, Wave, produced by Todd Rundgren; Dancing Barefoot song with ‘heroine’ lyric in it
Album with Fred when daughter, Jesse, was born: Dream of Life written for daughter, Jesse; People Have the Power – Fred’s rallying call for the future; Looking for You, a love song to Detroit and Fred.
Gone Again album, released June 1996 (after Fred died, songs she had worked on with Fred)
Song, Radio Baghdad
Trampin’ album, daughter Jesse plays piano (spring 2004)
2007, inducted into R & R Hall of Fame, Steven Sebring film, “Dream of Life”
This book was recommended in either the New York Times or the Denver Post. It’s a novel about two young Indian adults living in the United States, away from their childhood home and culture. The character of Sonia, a beautiful Indian young lady is front and center. Her family in India, grandparents, spinster Aunt, mama and papa, are drawn out so intricately, each one of them. I realize that Adam’s grandma, Nguyen Thi Tram (Vietnamese), being called Ba came from Manu’s Papa’s Indian side. Ba is the name Sonia’s grandma is called.
The author won the Booker Prize and the National Book Critics Circle Award for her book, The Inheritance of Loss. I need to read that one. I loved this book for the characters of Sonia and Sunny and the settings where they are happiest, in Goa, by the ocean; and for Sunny, in the little Mexican village by the ocean. I didn’t enjoy the devil talisman, the ghost hound, and the fantasy and dark spirituality. I despised the character of Ilan de Toorjen Foss, the psychotic artist, who wooed, but then abused and almost destroyed Sonia.
Sonia is a beautiful young Indian women, all alone in the United States in the dead of winter. She’s so lonely during the winter. She meets a mysterious older man, Ilan de Toorjen Foss. He cures her loneliness. He’s rich. He’s an artist. But after a while, he shows his true nature – a maniac – cruel and hurtful. One day, they enter his apartment and his wife is there. She kicks out Sonia, kindly and gently, but still kicks her out. Sonia eventually returns to India to help her father who has cancer, but she is tormented and laments the loss of her amulet, a devil talisman she let Ilan borrow. It’s from her grandfather, and it’s very special to her. When she is kicked out of Ilan’s NYC apartment, she takes everything but forgets that most important thing, tucked under the mattress. She asks Ilan for it back once but he refuses to return it.
Sunny is a young Indian man, a journalist working the night-shift for the AP, in New York City. He has an American girlfriend named Ulla. They are constantly comparing and contrasting their different cultures. Ulla eventually leaves Sunny while he is in India for his best friend’s wedding. She packs up every little thing in the apartment and doesn’t leave a note. He comes home to exactly his half of everything, anything he paid for, etc. Very hurtful.
Sonia and Sunny’s Indian families make up a large part of this book. Each person loves and cares deeply but they are also full of petty jealousies and grievances.
Sonia is beautiful, talented, and honest. Her talent is in writing. But her affair with the cruel Ilan almost destroys her. Sunny is a sweet and honest young man. They were to be an arranged marriage but Sunny never saw the picture of Sonia, and he never took it seriously. They meet accidentally and hit it off. They are two peas in a pod. But a ghost hound haunts Sonia. When they are in the ocean in Goa, a beautiful place, they almost drown from rip tides and then a ghost hound chases them and attacks them. Sonia tells Sunny the story of Ilan. Ilan stole the Badal Baba from Sonia. The Badal Baba is the talisman she got from her grandfather, a German painter. It’s some kind of devil amulet. She asked for Ilan to give it back to her and he refused. He got rich and famous because of it. He is a sick bastard. He uses his wealth to lure young women into his life and then traps them, degrading and insulting them, spitting on them, hurting them.
Sunny’s mother, Babita, is immature, refusing to let Sunny live his own life. She didn’t appreciate her husband, Sunny’s father, because he was honest and refused to be corrupted for money. Sunny’s father dies young. She raises Sunny but never lets him be free of her manipulations. She is jealous of Sonia and works to destroy their love. Then, when Babita is living by herself in Goa, fearful and drinking herself to sleep every night, Sonia shows up on her doorstep one evening and they become true, deep friends. It’s beautiful. Sunny is in Mexico living in a peaceful village in a hut by the ocean. He realizes his Mom has released her hold on him. He realizes he must get Sonia’s Badal Baba back from Ilan. He travels to Ilan’s Mexican estate in the middle of nowhere and pretends he is a journalist. Ilan starts out cocky and confident, but then becomes angry at Sunny and tells him to get the F out. Sunny leaves and sits under a tree. This is in the middle of nowhere in Mexico. He sees Ilan appear out of nowhere and head off into the distance. Sunny discovers the secret entrance into his compound. He sneaks in. The young lady that Ilan is now using, is fearful for her life but she allows Sunny to look for his journal (ostensibly). Sunny breaks into the chapel where Ilan is hiding the talisman, he finds it, puts it around his neck, and takes a paintbrush and paints black a painting of the eyes of a woman crying by the ocean, which is Sonia. Sunny escapes before Ilan returns.
Sunny returns to India, to Goa, to the love of his life, and they live happily ever after.
The book is 670 pages long. It’s focus is on how human love can save a person; save them from crushing loneliness. Everything is bearable when you have another with whom to love and share life. I like that, but it is missing the love of God, Who is always with us and will never forsake us. For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him, shall not perish but have eternal life. God’s love is with us. God has conquered the darkness and the darkness will never overcome it. This book embraces the darkness and gives it more power than it has. Human love is presented as the cure. It’s not, but I do like the notion of strong and honest attachment between people. That’s beautiful. Sunny and Sonia were completely honest with one another. Sonia told him the horror story, let it all out to him. Babita poured her heart out to Sonia, confessed all of her guilty secrets that she had been holding inside. Their honesty to each other cleared the air, dispelled their fears and formed a bond between them that was pure and lovely.
This book was recommended by Aaron Stearns, pastor of Mill City Church, at the start of the sermon on the Gospel of John, Chapter 4, The Woman at the Well. Jesus was tired and he was thirsty: 100% human, 100% God. The copy I got from the Englewood Public Library was copyrighted 2018 by Indo-European Publishing (not the version pictured above). There are a lot of typos in this version.
The book is made up of 23 short chapters delving into different attributes of God. I think most of these are from sermons or articles he wrote in the 1950’s. He acknowledges that it is not complete but he wrote this because he saw the church in America had completely forsaken the holiness of God. Here are the attributes he discusses: Trinity, Self-Existence, the Self-Sufficiency, Eternity, Infinitude, Immutability, Divine Omniscience, Wisdom, Omnipotence, Divine Transcendence, Omnipresence, Faithfulness, Goodness, Justice, Mercy, Grace, Love, Holiness, Sovereignty.
Fun and interesting book. Wayne’s tennis buddy, Mike G., let Wayne read the copy Mike got from his parents as a gift when he was a teenager. I got mine from the library so I wouldn’t ruin Mike’s copy by spilling something on it.
Wayne’s tips after reading this book:
“Advice from Rod Laver’s 1971 autobiography…
Very successful guy with a wood racket, small stature, and common sense outlook.
On Match Play:
There is no chance to win the point until the ball is on the other side of the net.
This point is the only one that matters; the last one is done, gone.
More points are won or lost on errors than on clean winners. This does not mean being a pusher –
be aggressive, just don’t overhit, dial it back enough to make sure you get it.
The better you watch the ball, the better chance you have of making your shot.
(And keeping pressure at bay.)
Use your best shots, the ones you own 100% …
So much better than giving them the point via trying shots you don’t have. Surprise is way over-rated.
Killer instinct goes for 6-0 6-0. It is sure (big targets) with the ducks, not wild.
Focus extra hard on getting the first point of every game.
Fatigue brings more unforced errors… plan for it by choosing shots with more margin for error in the second set.
Overheads and serves are fatiguing. Lob old guys. Get your first serve in, at 80% if necessary.
Do what is necessary to avoid thinking about a match before stepping on the court. 10 minutes of practice sometime earlier in the day is a big plus.
On How To:
Getting Older: Play no ad. Use a lighter racket. Don’t go after balls that you don’t have a good play on. Warm up. Electrolytes beforehand. Go slow, easy, and plenty with practice serves.
Play 100% three days/wk, 40% the other three, rest one. Walk daily.
Serve and Return: his toss is straight overhead, not left, and not very far right unless slicing.
Going wide makes your opponent run to get in position for the next shot.
Missed returns on second serves are in fact unforced errors.
Volley… Think short, quick, stiff jab. Eye on it all the way.
Hand always below the level of the ball. Volley with your feet to increase power and depth.
Wrapping it up: Watching the ball, from his strings to yours. Not the opponent, not the court. Do this and all else will follow, far and away the main thing. Related – “play the ball, not the opponent.” (Second is bending your knees to make a better shot. Third is to get that first serve in.)” Excellent summary, Wayne!
This is the story of Rod Laver’s Grand Slam year in 1969, starting in Australia and ending in the U.S. The Open era of tennis had just begun. He was a professional tennis player and they were not allowed to play in many of the tournaments because of that. In 1968, that changed with Wimbledon, which became “open” to the professionals along with the amateurs. Rod Laver won all the slams in 1969, the same year his wife Mary was pregnant and due to give birth while he was in New York for the U.S. Open. She was late and it’s a good thing, because he went all the way to the final and won. He won $16,000. He won the first Open Grand Slam in tennis history.
He was born in Australia on a cattle ranch on August 9, 1938. He’s as old as Mom. I’ve seen him in the stands of many, many tournaments. He watches quietly and intently and the camera goes to his face often. Roger Federer named the Laver Cup after him. His wife, Mary, the love of his life, died in 2012. She was an American, 10 years older than him. She died at 84, Rod was 74. They only had the one son, Rick Laver, born the year of his 1969 Grand Slam, but Mary had 3 children from a prior marriage. Rod was considered the best player of the time. He is small, only weighed 147 pounds. He is left-handed.
The book takes you tournament-by-tournament through his 1969 Grand Slam year, starting in Australia and ending in the U.S. After each tournament, there are short tennis lessons, 25 of them, that cover just about everything a tennis player needs to know about competition.
Wayne says the funny parts of this book, and there are quite a few, are Bud Collins, who Rod thanks in the Acknowledgements: “Bud Collins, who yanked the whole story out of me, and who suffers as much as I do when I lose. (After all, he shares in the royalties from this book.)”
He dedicates the book to his wife, Mary: “For Mary, who made it the grandest Slam”
I read this book to find out who the real James Herriot is. It’s written by his son, Jim Wight, who also became a vet. The real James Herriot is James Alfred Wight, born in 1916 in Sunderland, England, but moved to Glasgow, Scotland at 3 weeks of age. He grew up a Glasgow city boy. The only child of a hardworking Mom and Dad who devoted themselves to him. They were not rich. They lived in a tenement in Glasgow but it was one of the nicer tenements. His dad was a musician but that was not how he earned a living. He built ships for his main living. But he played the piano at the movie theaters when they were silent movies. His Mom was an accomplished seamstress and helped support the family with her dressmaking business. “Alf” is what everyone called him. They got Alf a puppy when he was a boy. He named him Don. Alf loved romping in the hills nearby his tenement with his dog. I guess the natural areas that close to Glasgow are all gone now.
This book was recommended by the Economist. It gives you detailed history of childrens’ diets since the late 1800s to present. It was very clear that children were NOT picky in the late 1800s until the 1950s when we incorporated bad psychology, along with modern conveniences like electricity, supermarkets, refrigerators, stoves; and TV advertising processed foods to children. A perfect storm led us to be a nation of picky eaters, along with high rates of obesity. Now it’s spreading worldwide. The solution – NO SNACKING before meals, and don’t offer alternative meals to the picky eater; let them go hungry. Believe that you know better than the child. Encourage them to try new foods. The bad psychology came from Dr. Spock and Clara Davis’s child-feeding experiment in the late 1940s. They thought children would eat what their bodies needed naturally. It was considered bad mothering to force a child to eat anything. Then, along came TV and packaged foods and advertising and supermarkets, and now we have a nation of fat, picky eaters. Yuch!
One thing about the late 1800s, there were no vaccines yet and many families lost children to infectious diseases. She describes a child dying of diphtheria, a highly contagious bacterial infection that killed children quickly: their throats and windpipes grow narrower and narrower because of the dead, infected tissue and they die of asphyxiation. Thank God for vaccines!
Excellent book! Her Epilogue summarizes the main solutions to our problem of picky eaters in America today: “Make sure your child is pleasantly hungry before meals. Don’t offer alternative foods. Limit their exposure to processed foods and food marketing. Serve them exactly the same interesting, flavorful foods you’re eating yourself, and talk openly about how and why you like them. If they have a negative reaction to a food, don’t think of it as an aversion, and never tell a child they don’t like something. With love and positivity, urge them to keep trying the same food over and over, warmly encouraging them using praise, excitement, and other small rewards. And don’t be afraid to tell them the truth about how good food makes kids happy, healthy, energetic, and tall.”
Wayne suggested reading this book for years. The Parkwood Estates Library had a copy of it, so I took it and finally read it, at the age of 67! It starts out horrible – a baby factory! Thousands of babies being manufactured, decanted. They decant them in different castes. Some are given alcohol in their test tubes to stunt their brains and their physical growth. They are the ones who will be garbagemen and manual laborers. Some are given the best of everything and they are the Alphas. Of course, they are white and tall and beautiful. As the children grow up, they are brainwashed constantly all night long; softly spoken words playing over and over again all night long. The same phrases over and over again, teaching them that consumption is good, gratifying their desires is good, sex is good, drugs are good. They encourage young children to play sexual games. Those that want to be alone or are different in some way are punished. As adults, they do their work, the work they were bred to do, and then line up for Soma tablets. Soma is a drug that makes you pleasantly high with no after-effects; no nausea, no hangover, no ill effects whatsoever. They get high and have fun at a few different diversions – golf, tennis, flying helicopters, and movies called “feelies.” Feelies are movies that allow you to see, smell, and feel what is happening on screen. There is no monogamy, motherhood or fatherhood, no family structure. The culture is stable. There is no violence or war or disease or famine. You take injections that keep you young and beautiful until about age 60 when you die in a hospital for the dying alongside many others. They give you lots of Soma so you are pleasantly high all day and all night, until you die. Then you are whisked away by a group of lower caste people who are bred to take care of the dying. You are cremated and your ashes become fertilizer to further society.
Two of the main characters, Bernard Marx and Lenina, take a vacation to Santa Fe, and part of that vacation is a tour of the Savage Reservation. They meet Indians who live in family units, who practice religion, who grow, hunt, and cook their own food. They meet John and his mother, Linda; white people living on the edge of the Indian reservation. Linda is ugly, fat, teeth falling out, alcoholic. John is a young man living as an Indian but not accepted as one – not allowed to participate in their ceremonies. His mother was a beautiful white woman who came out to Santa Fe long ago with her friend, the Director of Hatcheries and Conditioning. She went hiking by herself and fell and got injured and knocked out. They could not find her so they left her there. The Indians find her. She is pregnant and has a baby. She was taught that motherhood is gross, but she overcomes her brainwashing in that respect and loves her baby boy. She teaches him how to read and he loves Shakespeare, one of the only books they have. She does not overcome her brainwashing about sex, though, and becomes a whore for any of the men who want her. She becomes an alcoholic, addicted to mescal. She grows old and fat and ugly; losing her teeth and her looks.
Bernard realizes that Linda and her son, John, are the Director’s. Bernard saves his own life by bringing Linda and John back to Brave New World with he and Lenina. Bernard humiliates the Director and he resigns and moves to Iceland, where he was going to send Bernard.
John is called the Savage and he is a reluctant celebrity in Brave New World. He has fallen in love with Lenina and she would gladly let him have sex with her but he cannot overcome his morals. He is disgusted by this society. His mother is happy as a clam – she is given a place to lie in bed and take soma all day long, watching TV, until she dies. When she dies, he is distraught at how death is handled. He goes and lives by himself in a tower in the middle of nowhere, but it’s a beautiful nowhere. He is discovered, and reporters come and then the whole world knows about him and wants to see him, especially when he whips himself as a punishment when he is overcome with lust for Lenina. Once he is discovered there, they will not leave him alone, and he commits suicide by hanging. That is how the book ends, the reporters have come and they find him hanging. His feet are spinning slowly back and forth. The end.
What you have is a picture of a society full of brainwashed, compliant individuals. They are happy to work all day and then take drugs to keep them “happy.” There is no art or science or religion. There is no love. There is no famine, disease, war, or loneliness. This is contrasted with the Indians who have meaningful art, meaningful work, close-knit family lives, ceremonies celebrating growth and milestones, and love. They grieve but they also dance for joy. They work hard but they have the satisfaction of a job well-done, and they create art – they write, they mold clay, they weave, they make bows. They love deeply, but they also hate and can be violent and cruel. In the Brave New World, there is only manufactured happiness. The main goal of the society is to keep it stable, and they do so by mass-producing humans to perform different jobs, then brainwashing and drugging them.
Christie told me about this book. She read it and loved it. Kareem continues his life story. He meets and falls in love with a rich, white, beautiful girl named Lee Lee Jones. She was a horse-girl, participating in Eventing Competitions, which Kareem considered more difficult than Polo. Her family was wealthy, involved in the horse world in Pennsylvania, owning a horse farm, participating in fox hunts, with all the glitz and glamour of that wealthy world. But these two fall in love. Everything is going good until Kareem returns to Colorado State University and has a one-night stand with his former girlfriend, Lizzie. Lizzie finds out he was in a relationship with Lee Lee. Lizzie calls him on it and tells him he needs to let Lee Lee know. Kareem lets Lee Lee know and Lee Lee punishes him for what seems like years. First she breaks up with him, but then, they get back together but she doesn’t trust him; she makes him check in with her every day and night. He seems to have to apologize over and over again. I started not liking this girl, but he felt he deserved that treatment. They still had some good times, with an awful lot of drinking. He is not coping well with life, and tells her he needs to break up with her. He gets his life together but misses her terribly and they get back together again. That’s when the accident happens – Lee Lee is working a green horse on the exercise track at her home, and the horse hits an icy patch, trips, throws Lee Lee, then rolls and lands on Lee Lee’s head. Lee Lee was wearing a helmet but it still took many surgeries and months in the hospital and rehab. Lee Lee lives but was never the same. Kareem doesn’t know that she won’t bounce back completely, so is still devoted to her and leaves work promptly at 5:00 p.m. every night and drives an hour and a half to spend the evening with Lee Lee. He has no life except work, drive to Lee Lee, spend the evening with her. This goes on for 4 years. She gradually recovers to the point she can recognize him but she is child-like. When she first starts speaking again, she says “Fuck You, Bitch,” to everyone, including Kareem, her Mom, nurses, everyone. That eventually goes away and she becomes a sweet person, confined to a wheelchair, and dependent on her Mom (Evie) and other care-takers.
Kareem’s boss points him in the direction of his therapist. Kareem had tried a therapist who only prescribed ADHD drugs and Kareem almost became addicted to them. He quit them and stopped seeing that therapist but was still a mess inside. He describes his feelings. He has panic attacks, is full of anxiety, and is depressed. His boss, Joe, is a super nice guy. Kareem goes to see Joe’s therapist, Ellen Berman, and she helps him so much. She asks him to stop going to see Lee Lee every day. He can’t do that. She says, okay, leave 15 minutes early. He couldn’t do that. Okay, leave 10 minutes early. Her talk therapy saves him and he never stops loving Lee Lee, but he has a healthy life outside of Lee Lee. He meets Yolanda, a beautiful young lady who is more like him – not rich, not white, not privileged. But she’s a breath of fresh air. So is her family. She becomes the mother of their precious baby girl, Zara. And Kareem marries her. He brings both Yolanda and Zara out to meet Lee Lee and it’s a precious moment. He lets Lee Lee hold Zara and she says “Baby, Baby” over and over again.
Really good book. He calls it “creative non-fiction.” That means the events and time-line are based on real events but some have been compressed or adjusted. The characters are based on real life but some names have been changed. The conversations are not exact but evoke the character and spirit.
Ellen Berman, the therapist, talks to Kareem about ambiguous loss, which is a loss, but not a complete loss like death. The traumatic brain injury that Lee Lee Jones suffered was not fatal, but left her unlike her former self. Kareem was caught between despair and hope. Some examples of ambiguous loss are when someone is kidnapped, or MIA, or when someone gets Alzheimer’s, or has a drug addiction or severe depression.
The title of the book comes from Lee Lee’s mother, Evie. She and Kareem are having a discussion outside on the hood of his car after his visit with Lee Lee. She tells him it would be okay if he started dating again. He tells her he still loves Lee Lee. She says she understands that but tells him, “When you’re ready.”
After Zara is born, Kareem is describing the love he feels for his baby girl: “I’d thought I understood love. I thought that the love that I felt for my mom, my siblings, my grandma, Leslie, Lee Lee, Evie, Yolanda..I thought all that love covered pretty much every color in the emotional spectrum. And that I was lucky to have it in my life.
“But this feeling? This feeling that I had for this tiny, silly, sweet thing? This wide-eyed child? This soft little mystery that I held in my arms?
“It was singular. It was incomparable. It was bigger than anything I’d ever felt. And I knew, right then and there, that I would spend my lifetime trying to be a good enough father to my daughter. I knew that there would never be anything more important or more valuable in my life.”
Here are a few paragraphs near the end of the book. He is at Yolanda’s family home in New Jersey, and both their large families are together for Christmas. Kareem is going to surprise-propose to Yolanda:
“”Yolanda,” I said. “When I was growing up, I didn’t think that love could really last. I never really believed that love could be a forever thing. And that’s because I didn’t think that the people I loved would ever be able to stay.
“”But then” –I smiled at her, and she smiled right back at me, tremulous and happy. “Then I met you. And you showed me that there was another kind of love. A real love. A true and deep and rooted thing that might change and grow over time but would never completely disappear. You gave me a safe place to heal. You saw me through some of my darkest times, and you brought me so much light.” I looked at Zara. “We created this amazing daughter together. And all I want is to spend the rest of my life with you both.””
Here are a few sweet closing words, when they are visiting Lee Lee and Lee Lee is holding Zara:
“I may have created more space between us, but I will never leave Lee Lee behind. I will never permanently step away. I think she still sees me as her soul mate and other half. And honestly, so do I. Our relationship necessarily changed, but it did not end. There was no closure.
“Instead, there was a metamorphosis. For both of us…
…”Lee Lee changed me.
Yolanda changed me.
Zara changed me.
Love changed me.
Because true love is never static; I renews and transfigures, it morphs and grows and fills the silence and the empty, broken places. It takes on whatever shape we need it to become.”
Such a special young man! I never met him personally, but when he applied for scholarships at CSU, I read his scholarship application and was utterly captivated by his story. A poor, black child growing up in the Bottom, which sounds like a ghetto of Philadelphia. His mom a drug addict, as was his grandma. His best friend shot to death. His older brothers in prison. Before that, though, his older brothers discover the “Work to Ride” program – a horse barn in Philadelphia that teaches poor children how to ride horses. Kareem comes to CSU as a Polo player and leads CSU to a national title in Polo. And that story is in his book, Crossing the Line, which is also an excellent book.
Coffee table-sized book full of pictures and information on the Colorado River from where it starts in our Rocky Mountains to where it peters out in the desert. It’s heartbreaking, though, because the Colorado River used to be a powerful river that flowed all the way to the Gulf of California in Mexico and now it peters out 100 miles away and what is left is nothing but cracked, dry, trash-strewn desert. There used to be estuaries filled with water, trees, birds. The future is bleak, too: As I write this on May 2, 2026, Flaming Gorge Reservoir in Wyoming is releasing water into the Green River to keep the water levels high enough in Lake Powell to generate electricity. We are coming off a very low snowpack winter in Colorado – one of the worst in recorded history.
I learned from this book that Saudi Arabia owns many of the alfalfa farms in California that use Colorado River water for irrigation. “Apparently growing and exporting forage crops from land irrigated with Colorado River water is more economical than producing them in the Middle East.”
In 2014, the BLM released a “pulse flow” of water for eight weeks that allowed the Colorado River to, once again, reach the Gulf of California. But it hasn’t since.
The Central Arizona Project (CAP) was fought for long and hard by Arizona. It was finally approved in 1968, construction started in 1973 and opened in 1993. In 2023, though, the lower Colorado River Basin had to initiate shortage restrictions. There is a Taiwan Semiconductor plant north of Phoenix that uses Colorado River water. Phoenix allows its gray water to cool “America’s largest nuclear power plant, the Palo Verde Generating Station.” That nuclear power plant is now ringed with solar panel farms and the electricity they generate for Arizona and California is cheaper than the hydroelectric electricity from the dams on the river.
The Salton Sea has shrunk and is full of agricultural wastewater. The dust along the edges is toxic and is causing health problems and problems for wildlife when airborne.
“In the fall of 2023, though, in an effort to conserve water, the state of Arizona terminated state land leases that had given Saudi-owned farms nearly unfettered access to pumping groundwater for alfalfa production.”
We destroyed a water paradise and built cities and farms in the desert, where they should never have been. What will happen now that there is hardly any water in our mountains to feed this monster?
Excellent book, Pete McBride! I do wish it came in a smaller format – it is full of much-needed information and pictures – but the large size is cumbersome.
Neighbor Sara recommended this book. I started reading it soon after we sent Jojo to heaven and it was the perfect escape. She writes about a trip she and her beloved husband, Joe, made across the Atlantic from Martha’s Vineyard to England and back on the Queen Mary 2 (not a “cruise,” but a “crossing”). They went in May and June of 2012. They spent 2 months walking around England, visiting old homes and gardens, pubs and tea rooms, quaint country inns. The book is handwritten, as if it were her diary. It’s full of actual photos and also her drawings of all the quaint and charming things. She’s quite an artist! And she and her husband are chefs, too. She starts the book in the 1980’s describing how she met Joe, a man 5 years her junior, when she was recovering from a heartbreak and had sworn off men forever. She was in her 30’s. She was sitting at a bar with a friend, and Joe was there, too. They started chatting and hit it off from the start. She didn’t think she was going to end up romantically involved with him, but he wooed her and won her heart. He loved her at first sight.
Fast forward from the 1980’s to 2012: They decided to take this trip to England in their 60’s. It was a dream of theirs for a very, very long time. They had been there before but this time, Joe’s idea was to cross the Atlantic by ship and spend 2 whole months in the English countryside.
Although there was lots and lots of rainy days, they made the best of it. Once, they decided to board a small ferry and spend the rainy day on it. They chatted with the ferry boat captain and were charmed by him and by the countryside, even though it was pouring down rain.
They visited Beatrix Potter’s home and garden. Susan Branch absolutely loves all things Beatrix Potter, so it meant the world to her to see where she lived. Beatrix Potter donated her home and garden, and many farms and acres she owned (14 working farms and another 4,000 acres of the Lake District), to The National Trust, in order to keep them forever free from development and open to the public. They visited William Morris’s home (an actual manor named Kelmscott). They visited Jane Austen’s home. They were in the Peak District, the Lake District, and Yorkshire Dales.
She also describes “Public Footpaths.” They are all over England, some 100 miles long, all throughout the countryside. “It is possible to walk across England, stopping along the way at pubs and bed and breakfasts, making every day an adventure. You can find maps to these walk-routes at local shops in every region. We use the “OS Explorer Maps.” The paths are marked; you simply walk down an alley in any village, and right out of town, amongst farm animals – into serendipity; you never know what you will find.”
She describes so many wonderful, old, beautiful, quaint, flowery and green places. She provides maps and recipes: Pimm’s Cup (a gin drink her husband loves), Sticky Toffee Pudding, Hot Milk Cake, etc.)
She provides lists of her favorite books and movies set in England.
They rented a car and drove in England – that was the only thing that sounded challenging and nerve-wracking. I think having a tour that provides all the driving would be the way for us to go. Driving on the wrong side of the road and on the wrong side of the car – just too much!
This book was a delight! Thank you, Sara, for telling me about it! Thank you, Susan Branch, for sharing your love of England so charmingly with us!
by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., 2011
Danette recommended this book. It’s from a podcast that she and Adam listen to. They already own the book. They’re using the concepts as they raise Eliya. When she falls down and gets hurt and cries, they say, “That must have hurt,” rather than, “You’re okay.” I realized how often I say “You’re okay” when a child gets hurt – “you’re okay, you’re okay.” That totally negates their feelings and probably confuses the hell out of them, because they are not okay. This book is all about integrating the child’s brain: Left with Right, Upstairs with Downstairs, Memories, Me with We. Naming their pain, or their feeling, and then, once they are heard and understood, moving on to the teachable moment, or whatever can help them integrate. Good stuff, but not easy or intrinsic. I would need to review the book again and again until I got it down.
Also, I read this book immediately after reading Cobalt Red, in which is described children as young as 6 working in open-pit Cobalt mines from dawn to dusk. And young mothers with infants strapped to their backs, their heads lolling back and forth, as their mothers dig all day in the hot sun for cobalt. The contrast between our first world country, wanting to optimize our children’s brains to the ‘nth’ degree; while across the ocean in Africa, children’s brains and bodies are traumatized daily with so much brutality, oppression and injustice.
Adam suggested this book. It’s about mining for cobalt in the Congo. It is unbelievably heart-breaking. The injustice, the oppression, the evil that is taking place is so awful. I had no idea. China and the major companies that use lithium-ion batteries, of which cobalt is one of the major ingredients, must stop this and re-build, renew, save these poor people. They work all day in the most brutal, horrible conditions, in order to earn a measly $1/day. They work in tunnels and when the tunnels collapse, they are buried alive. No one hears about it because no one can even check things out; armed men patrol all of the mines and the depots where cobalt is sold. Up until the election of Felix Tshisekedi in 2019, all of the African leaders after independence from King Leopold II of Belgium, were just as evil and exploited the people for their own gain. These were Mobutu Sese Seko (1965-1997), Laurent-Desire Kabila (1997-2001), Joseph Kabila (Laurent’s son) (2001-2019). It is hopeful that Felix Tshisekedi is working to better the conditions for his poor, exploited people.
Young mothers with infants strapped to their backs work the mines all day, for less than a dollar a day. They and their babies breathe in the toxic dust. Young girls and boys also work in the mines because their families can no longer afford the $6 a month to pay for their educations. This is after the mining companies force the families to move out of their villages, then cut down all the trees, and then build huge open-pit mines.
It is an outrage. Praying to God for His justice to roll down like waters, His righteousness like an ever-flowing stream. God please save these poor people, these poor oppressed people.
The companies like Tesla, Apple, Samsung, Daimler all have statements that say they do not use cobalt mined by children, but what this book shows (because this author took the time to go investigate at risk of his own life), there is no way you can say that you are using cobalt that was not mined by children. All of the cobalt gets into the bottom of the supply chain and is mixed together. And, this mining by children and adults, which is called artisanal mining is everywhere in the Congo. Thousands upon thousands of Congolese working in the most hellish conditions from dawn to dusk, for the tiniest bit of money. The mining kills them. This must stop! China and the rich companies need to give these people schools and free education for all of the children, hospitals and clinics, clean water, electricity, sewers, parks, trees, gardens, clean up their water and their air, give the miners safety equipment, reinforce the tunnels, pump in air so they can breathe, on and on and on. It is an absolute outrage that this is happening! God, please make it stop! Help these poor, poor people, especially the children!
From World Vision’s website – 10 worst countries to be a child:
Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC)
In the eastern DRC, spikes in violence are a continual threat, especially against children. The United Nations reports that children are being recruited and armed, which is a grave violation of international law. In South Kivu, thousands have been displaced, and millions of children face increased risks of exploitation, trauma, hunger, and disease outbreaks. The ongoing challenges include:
Over 15 million children live in instability.
A deadly cholera epidemic has spread across six provinces, with more than 18,000 cases and 364 deaths reported since January 2025.
Flooding and unsafe water increase the threat of illness
In mining provinces like Lualaba and Haut-Katanga, child labor is widespread. Tens of thousands of children work in cobalt and copper extraction.
In towns like Kakanda, children as young as 6 work to support their families by selling food on the streets, carrying water, or caring for younger siblings. Children like the young girl shown above dig through toxic rubble with their bare hands, hoping to earn enough for a meal. Without safety gear, they risk injury, illness, or even death. Eleven-year-old Chantal* (not pictured) began working in the mines at age 9 after her father died. “I haven’t been to school in three months,” says Chantal*, who cooks and cleans for her family instead of attending class. “Sometimes I was so tired I’d fall asleep on the ground, right among the rocks,” she says.
Though Congolese law prohibits underage labor in mining, extreme poverty forces many families to rely on income from their children. Most earn less than $2 a day.
Adam recommended this book. It’s by the author of The Emerald Mile, the book about Kenton Grua’s fastest run down the Colorado in 1983 in a wooden dory named after a stand of Redwood trees that were partially clear-cut. That was an excellent book. This one is even better. Kevin Fedarko’s writing is honest, humble, and the details he provides make you feel like you are there. This book is a great work of art, like the canyon itself. He and his friend and photographer/journalist, Pete McBride, decide to do a “through-hike” of the Grand Canyon, which is about a 750-mile slog through dangerous no-man’s lands, along the rim, half-way up the sides of the canyon, sometimes along the river, sometimes on the south rim, other times on the north rim, up and down slot canyons, scrambling under Tamarisks, in extreme heat, extreme cold.
The first leg they do is “off the couch” and they last 6 days and go home in shame, about dead. They didn’t bother to train. Kevin didn’t bother to open any of the boxes of supplies that were shipped to them. They brought all of the boxes unopened and when they got to their remote starting point, they opened them and haphazardly packed what they thought they would want/need. They ended up with packs that weighed 58 lbs. The experts they were tagging along with were very kind but very leery. After 6 days of unbelievable hardship, they had to be rescued, and the 4 experts had to make up lots of time to stay on track for their own through-hike. Kevin and Pete were never going back again, but these experts had friends that swooped in, showed Kevin and Pete how to do this, and then went with them for the next leg. That was a completely different experience. Kevin and Pete had been humbled and they were much better prepared this time.
Ben and Lola gave this book to Wayne for me to read when he was over there telling them about the sidewalk replacement that was going to happen. They both loved this book and wanted me to read it. They said it was “uplifting” and “heartwarming.” I loved it! It was uplifting and heartwarming!
It’s about an 87 year-old man named Theo who moves to Golden, a university town by the Oxbow River in America’s southeast. He is a mystery. He loves good coffee and there is a coffee shop near his hotel called The Chalice. On the walls of this coffee shop are hand-drawn portraits of customers – 92 of them – that are incredible; the way the artist was able to render emotions in their eyes and faces. Theo marvels at them, and the low price of each, only $125, and the fact that they aren’t flying off the walls. He works with Shep, the owner of the coffee shop, and he begins purchasing the portraits and writing letters to the subjects, one-by-one, and meeting them at the fountain, on a bench, ‘he is the extraordinarily handsome older gentleman with a green flat cap.”
Theo is very loving and kind. He befriends all of the people he meets, and helps them out. It seems money is no object for him. He moves from the hotel to a beautiful 3rd floor apartment in the Ponder Building. I love the description of this beautiful apartment. Theo has no trouble walking up 3 flights of stairs to get to it. He ends up spending a year in this apartment, becoming friends with many people.
Asher – the artist who draws the portraits. He is a kind and loving man to all. Asher’s niece, Minnette, whose father is a brute – all he cares about is money. Minnette can never please her father, but Asher is her uncle and he shows her what love is. Minnette’s portrait is the first portrait Theo purchases and the first person he writes to and invites to meet him on the bench at the fountain. Minnette and her husband decide to come to the fountain together, because, honestly, both she and her husband are suspicious. They get separated and Minnette goes ahead and meets with Theo on her own. Her husband sees them talking together and watches from a distance. All is well and they become beloved friends of Theo’s, and Theo’s kindness changes them. This story is repeated with each portrait recipient. Each one is invited to come and meet Theo and receive a gift. There is Ellen – the homeless woman who rides her bike around town and sometimes sleeps at the Mission, and sometimes sleeps who knows where. There is Tony – the bookseller, who owns a messy book store and is a smart-alec. There is Simone, a brilliant cellist who walks to class with his cello on his back. There is Kendrick and his daughter Lamisha. Lamisha is severely injured and her mother (Kendrick’s wife) is killed when another driver falls asleep at the wheel and runs into them. Kendrick is a night janitor. Lamisha is often undergoing surgery on her leg and Kendrick and his mother take turns being with her – Kendrick during the day, his mother during the night. Sometimes they stay in the hospital so they are always there with Lamisha. When Theo finds out the story, he hires the best doctor in the world to take over the care of Lamisha. He pays for everything. Then, the driver, who has been in jail for a year, comes to trial, and Kendrick and Lamisha find out his story – it breaks their hearts and Kendrick tells Theo about it. The driver was an immigrant from Guatemala who had worked as a bricklayer for 14 years. He got deported but comes right back – why? Because he has a wife and little girl he loves and he must get back to them. He drives all night, falls asleep at the wheel and kills Kendrick’s wife and injures Lamisha, Kendrick’s daughter. They can see by his tears and his hands in prayer that he is deeply, deeply sorry. After Kendrick talks to Theo, Kendrick tells the judge and his attorney (Minnette’s husband), that he feels this man has already done enough time. It’s a beautiful part of the story – the love and forgiveness from one to another–all coming about through Theo’s love and care for them.
Everyone wonders who Theo is – no last name, all they know is he’s from Portugal originally. Only one person knows him and his story – that is James Ponder, the owner of the Ponder Building where he has his office and where he allows Theo to rent the beautiful, charming 3rd floor apartment.
In the end, we find out the story of Theo and why he came to Golden. He fell in love with Asher’s mother when they were both young artists living in Spain. He loves her but he is intent on his success and lets her go. She returns to Golden and marries immediately and has a little boy, Asher, and then another child, Pearce (the money-hungry father of Minnette). It turns out, Gammy (Asher’s mother) got pregnant. Asher is Theo’s son. Theo reveals all of this in a long letter to Asher that Asher is given to read by James Ponder. James Ponder is Theo’s confidante. He knows all of the history, he knows why Theo came to Golden. He doesn’t tell a soul while Theo is alive. Theo dies tragically – he falls from the 3rd floor balcony in the middle of the night trying to scream at 3 assailants who are brutally beating both Ellen and then Simone who tried to help Ellen. Theo sees it all – and is trying to scream at them to “STOP, STOP, STOP!” The next thing we know he is a crumpled heap on the sidewalk and a young couple is horrified.
James Ponder reveals all to Theo’s son, Asher, and to the close friends of Theo’s. Theo is actually a famous artist, Zila, who has amassed a fortune and is renown for his generosity and benevolence. We do learn early on that Theo was in a loveless marriage (after Asher’s mother) to an alcoholic woman. They have a daughter, Tita, whom Theo absolutely adores – she is the light of his life. One day, the mother is driving while drunk, with Tita in the car, and has a wreck that kills them both. It takes literally years for Theo to recover. He recovers by walking, and finally by watching a sunset by a river. For the rest of his life, he finds a spot to watch the sunset by a river, every night. He also finds the Lord. This book is decidedly Christian. Theo is a good Christian man. He loves God and he loves others. It is wonderful to me that Ben and Lola wanted me to read this book and that they found it heart-warming and uplifting.
I got this book from a Little Free Library in the neighborhood. It is a memoir and won the Pulitzer Prize. I apologize I cannot figure out how to put the accent mark over the “i” in Alegria. Her mother is Puerto Rican (“Philly Rican”), one generation removed; her father is white, Jewish, hippy. She grew up in Philadelphia. Her Mom and Dad divorced when she was young (he was unfaithful to her mom), she lived mainly with her Mom in North Philly and visited her Dad in suburbia frequently at first, then less and less frequently. He married a white bitch named Sharon, who told Quiara on their wedding day, to stay out of the family pictures, “This is my day.” Quiara went away into the woods (it was an outdoor wedding near the farm at which they had been living) and she dealt with the hurt and shame by vowing solitude – the only safe way to be. “Solitude was reliably safe and enjoyable. The woods understood that, they had taught me well. I spent a long time visiting my old friends: the ferns, the toads, the moss. Finally, relief found me, now that I had decided who to be. The girl alone. The girl who despises the English word “my.””
Quiara looks like a white girl, but she lives with her Puerto Rican family and loves them – her aunts, uncles, cousins, her Abuela. They live close to poverty. There is tragedy. This is when the AIDS epidemic begins and she loses 3 beloved relative to AIDS, possibly. There was uncertainty over their deaths; sores all over, a slow wasting away. The wife and mother (I believe the deaths were all from one Aunt’s family – her husband and 2 of her children) grieved loudly – falling on the floor and screaming- at their funerals.
The library’s monthly biographies email recommended this book. I don’t know. She is a sweetheart, but she is so child-like, innocent, gullible. Her husband, Tony, committed suicide. Then she found out he was having one affair after another and she had to get tested for STDs. Thankfully, she didn’t have one, but she had had one about 5 years ago (chlamydia) and her doctor told her this is only sexually transmitted, but her husband denied being unfaithful, said the doctor was wrong, and she believed him. It also turns out he may have been involved with the Mafia. They lived in Wilmington, Delaware. They were the rich, country club set. And very heavy drinkers. After her husband died, she was on anxiety medication and she took those freely at the same time as continuing to drink heavily. And she cried and cried and cried. She would hole up for months on end, it sounded like. She would cry out to God, asking Him where was He. Somehow, someway, with a lot of help from a lot of people, she gradually healed and she wrote this book in hopes of helping others heal.
At the beginning of her healing process, she consulted mediums to try and talk with Tony. Supposedly, he did tell her several things – I’m sorry, get on with your life – it was all a game to me, etc. Then, she was convicted about using mediums because the Bible says not to, so she stopped consulting mediums. “But ultimately, as much as I wanted to hear the information from mediums, my Catholic faith began to convict me. I needed to trust God and His leadership in my life, not rely on what other humans were telling me. One day I turned to the Bible in search of God’s message to His people and found Micah 5:12: “I will destroy your witchcraft and you will no longer cast spells.”
“In the process of getting closer to God, I made a commitment to eliminate mediums from my life. From that moment, I chose to follow God’s chosen path and not rely on witchcraft. And I left the unanswered questions in God’s hands.”
She started reading the Bible, a lot. She wrote in a journal, a lot. She wrote letters to God, and several times, He wrote back. She read the book, The Secret, and bought into that completely. She used several self-help methods.
She moved to Florida in 2014 and has lived in Viera, Florida, since that time.
Here are some of the quotes I like:
She doesn’t know who said this: “Don’t worry about tomorrow, God is already there.”
Lord Chesterfield: “I recommend you take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves.”
“The essential point is that it took my husband to die tragically, with a wayward life, for me to discover my true life’s purpose.”
One evening on a trip overseas she became distraught in a church in front of a statue of the Virgin Mary and Jesus, because it was like one she and Tony had seen in Italy. There was a kind sister there, who gave Janet her rosary, comforted her and promised to have a priest call her. He called her that night; they talked for 3 hours. “He explained to me that when we forgive someone, we are not excusing the act. He helped me see that forgiving Tony was the only way to free my mind and body from the pain.”…
“As much as I wanted to be positive, I found myself constantly thinking about the negatives. I noticed that my demeanor changed for the worse when I had negative thoughts.
“Out of survival, if a negative thought entered my mind, I made a firm commitment to immediately change my way of thinking.”
After 20 years, she writes: “We find our strength in looking forward, in reaching out and helping others, in forgiving.”
These are the things she’s learned for certain:
“-Our God, the God of Light, would not make us go through so much pain without having something beautiful on the other side.
“-God works miracles through ordinary events and the people in our lives. He does it through the love and goodwill deeds we do by helping others.
“-God is with us 100 percent of the time. Even when He doesn’t “feel” present, He is.
“-God will not always react to your needs in the way you expect.
“-God always responds to our faith.
“-The Bible supplies all of our answers to how we should live.”
I got this book from a Little Free Library (Smith Street?). I wanted to read it because Wayne has her album, Easter, and she has always intrigued me; her lyrics and the album cover photo of her. I knew nothing about her, except for her hit song, Because the Night, which it turns out, she got from Bruce Springsteen.
This book is mainly about her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe, whom I had never heard of, and now wish I still never knew. I don’t like him at all, but Patti Smith loved him, through and through.
