by Lisa See, 2005
Lily and Snow Flower, 18th Century China, become “Old Sames” or “laotong” through a matchmaker when they are very young. At age 7, they go through “foot-binding,” which is absolutely horrible – in hopes of having tiny feet – golden lilies – to ensure a good marriage. The mothers perform it and it takes months of agony, bones breaking, etc. Maybe after 4 years they are finally healed but they are never able to really walk free like we can. Lily and Snow Flower grow up and get married – leave their families, have children. Lily marries into a wealthy family, the Lu family. Snow Flower marries a butcher – the lowest of the low. Snow Flower loses many of her children, but at age 5 her 2nd son dies. Her husband beats her out of grief. Snow Flower seeks compassion from Lily but Lily responds with admonitions to keep trying to have sons, etc. Snow Flower writes on their secret fan that “3 sworn sisters have promised to love me.” Lily misinterprets this (Laotong are like a marriage no one can come between them) and she tries to forget Snow Flower. For 8 years she stays away. Then Spring Moon, Snow Flower’s daughter, comes to tell her that Snow Flower is dying. Lily goes to her and ministers to her every need until she dies. Then she takes care of her children and sees her grand-daughter marries her grandson and becomes the next “Lady Lu.” Lily realized the error of her thinking too late and lives with the regret for 40+ years. “Please forgive me.” (Last sentence of the book.) NuShu is the secret writing of women that they use to communicate with one another. Snow Flower starts the communication on a fan and they continue this throughout their lives because women are not free- they spend most of their lives in “upstairs chamber,” embroidering, writing, etc.
Very strange book – sure glad I was not an 18th century Chinese female!