by Geoffrey Chaucer, c. 1343-1400 (translated by David Wright)
He wrote the Canterbury Tales, an unfinished poem, starting in 1387. It is a delightful series of stories told by 29 members of a party traveling to Canterbury. The “Host” decides it will be fun for each member to tell a tale, making the journey fun. So there is the Knight’s Tale about 2 cousins who fall in love with the same woman. The Miller’s Tale about a carpenter with a beautiful wife, he was very jealous, but ends up getting duped by Fly Nicholas who lusts after her. This tale is bawdy and hilarious and has ‘cunt’ in it. The Reeve’s Tale about a crooked miller taken advantage of by 2 scholars who end up with his wife and daughter all night. Another very bawdy tale. The Sergeant-at-Law’s Tale – about Christian Lady Constance who is beloved by a Muslim, who converts to Christianity, but his mother tries through treachery and malice to destroy her and almost does. This tale is full of loving prayers and words about Jesus. The Sea-Captain’s Tale about a good merchant whose treacherous wife and good friend, a monk named Brother John, conspire to take advantage of him. The Prioress’s Tale – about a little Christian boy murdered by Jews. This story shows extreme hatred of the Jews: “Hateful to Christ, by Christian folk disdained.”
The Monk’s Tale which tells the history of great men who fell, from Lucifer, Adam, Samson, Hercules, Nebuchadnezzar, Belshazzar, Zenobia (heroine) to Nero, Alexander, Julius Caesar and Croesus.
The Nun’s Priest’s Tale – which is the tale of Chantecleer and the fox!
The Wife of Bath’s Tale – which begins after a very long preamble about her 5 husbands – is about a knight who is to be killed for rape but is pardoned as long as he can say what women most desire. An old women tells him (women want most to be master over their husbands) and the knight has to marry her. He is mourning the fact that he had to marry someone old, ugly, poor. She teaches him what being a true noble means. Someone who is always virtuous, a gentleman, who performs noble deeds. As for poverty, she explains, is a boon – can laugh at thieves, teaches one to know God, shows you who your real friends are, and Jesus, Heaven’s King, chose poverty. “Whoever is contented with his lot, poor as it is, I count him to be rich…Whoever covets anything is poor…” As far as her being old and ugly, she explains she will be true and faithful.
But she gives him a choice: she will become either young and beautiful, or remain old and ugly and be faithful for life to him. He lets her choose, so she chooses both – and becomes young and beautiful and good.
The Friar’s Tale: The summoner partners with the Devil and to Hell they go.
The Summoner’s Tale: A begging Friar (Limiter) goes to get money from Thomas, who is sick, telling him he’s sick because he hasn’t given enough. Thomas tells him to put his hand down his back, beneath his buttocks to get a thing hidden there. The Friar does and Thomas farts in his hand – a thunderous fart. The Friar leaves in a rage and goes to the Lord’s house (manor house) and tells the story of how Thomas farted in his hand and told him to share with 12 of his fellow friars. All the lord and people could do was wonder how to divide a fart equally among 13 friars. A servant said they could lay a cart wheel with 12 spokes, each Friar would kneel on a spoke with nose in middle. The corrupt Friar right in the middle. Then Thomas would fart in the middle and that’s how you could divide a fart equally.
The Oxford Scholar’s Tale: My favorite. The tale about the Marquis who marries the beautiful peasant girl, Griselda. He tests her goodness by taking away first their baby girl and then her son. Thinking they were dead, yet she remains patient and faithful. Then he tells her he loves another and Griselda is sent back to her father’s. She goes. The Marquis realizes how good and true she is and gets her and returns her to his palace with their 2 children and they live happily ever after. This tale is to teach us to “Live in virtue and in patient fortitude,” “Accept what God sends us without complaint.”
The Merchant’s Tale: About old January marrying lovely young May.
The Squire’s Tale: A king is given a magic bronze horse, a mirror, a ring, and a sword. The horse will take you anywhere in the world. The mirror shows true friends and foes. The ring is for his daughter so she will know and understand bird song. The sword can pierce any metal and, if rubbed on the wound, it will heal.
The Franklin’s Tale: About the Knight and his beautiful wife – a very loving couple, while apart another man falls in love with her. She tells him he can have her if he’ll remove all the rocks in the ocean of Britain. He goes to a magician in Italy, pays him 1000 lbs. to do it. The magician does it (makes the ocean rise) and when she is faced with betraying her husband, she tells him what she promised. Rather than have her break her promise, he tells her to go to the man. When the man finds out, he sends her back to her husband. When the magician finds out, he forgives the debt.
The Doctor of Medicine’s Tale: A crooked judge wrongfully condemns a father of stealing a bond slave and orders him to return the bond slave to the rightful owner. The bond slave is his lovely daughter, who the judge wants for his own. Rather than have his daughter “live in lechery and filthy sin” he cuts off her head and gives it to the judge.
The Pardoner’s Tale: 3 hoodlums decide to kill Death. They come across an old man who tells them he saw death beneath a tree. They go to the tree, find piles of gold. They send one to town to buy bread and wine. While he is gone, they decide they will kill him when he returns so they can divide the gold between them. While the one is in town he buys poison to poison the other two and get all the gold to himself. When he returns, they kill him – drink the poisoned wine and then they die too. They found Death alright. (The Pardoner sells pardons yet preaches against avarice.)
The Second Nun’s Tale: About Saint Cecilia who refuses to renounce her Christianity and is boiled alive.
The Canon’s Assistant’s Tale: About Alchemy and trying to turn mercury into silver or gold.
The Manciple’s Tale: About a beautiful white crow who could talk – who told his owner about his unfaithful wife. The owner kills his wife in a fit of rage and then turns on the crow, tore out its feathers, makes it black, and took away its song. And that’s why all crows are black – moral of the story – Guard your tongue: “Watch out, and be most mindful what you say nor ever tell a man – not on your life – that somebody’s been pleasuring his wife; or he’ll hate you like poison – that’s for certain.”
“No need for worry, son, if you have said nothing malicious; you can’t be betrayed. But once a man has spoken out of malice, in no way can he unsay what he’s said…Among all folk wherever you may go, keep watch upon your tongue: think of the crow.”
The Author’s Valediction: “Now I pray all those who hear or read this little treatise, if there be anything in it which pleases them, to thank Our Lord Jesus Christ from whom proceeds all wisdom and goodness…”
Amazing book – written 100 years before printing press! How did he know his Bible so well. So many stories from the Bible – Old and New Testaments. Also 200 years before Martin Luther! Amazing! Only hatred of Jews is wrong.